randomlinktime: eencrawford: a blind man walks into a bar and a table and a chair
My parents are so weird. When I say “fuck” they don’t even react but if I say “Jesus Christ” or just “Christ” they go, “Watch your language!” They’re not even religious!!!
jeszing: yes i am a girl yes i put milk in the bowl before cereal
Why is it so hard
to find a book that’s well written, fast paced, interesting, and has lead female character that’s not completely irritating. WHY. EXPLAIN IT TO ME. In other news, I devolve back to the YA section because at least there 90% of the books aren’t about either terminal illness/broken families or hideously muscular men ripping the clothes off of women whose most interesting...
shaving23spiders: it’s all fun and games until someone uses 14 reaction gifs
johndavesexual: fun fact did you know that hell’s national anthem is actually a five year old playing ‘hot cross buns’ on the recorder
vondell-swain: i’m sick of popular music, popular music is all a bunch of shit, that’s why i love the beatles, the literal best-selling band in the history of music
porn site: are you over the age of eighteen?
fifteen year old: ...umm... yes *clicks yes*
fifteen year old:
cop: *bust down the door* PUT THE PORN DOWN
fifteen year old: *starts crying*
cop: *pistol whips the fifteen year old* BUSTY ASIAN BABES? NOT ON MY WATCH
heavnly: belugaqueen: heavnly: i wonder how bad butt sex hurts it’s a pain in the ass
hunnidthousand: I thought mpreg was like a type of audio/video format and I googled it and well I am wrong.
xwhatserface: mel-lovable: karameruru: viremi: thelocalpaedo: TAKEEEEEEEE ONNNNNNNN MEEEEEEEE TAKE ON ME TAKEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEE ONNNNNNNN TAKE ON ME I’LLLLLLLLL BEEEEEEEE GONEEEEEEEE IN A DAY OR TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
manosukestoned420: boneysexual: manosukestoned420: omfg iwas in the shower and is tarted thinkging about “photosynthesize your worries inTO DMREAMS” AN I SLIPED AND ALMSOT DIED SON OF A MOTHEr FRICK
Quick civics lesson:
dionthesocialist: Freedom of speech is: the government will never (lol) create a law impugning your right to say whatever you want as long as it doesn’t create an immediate risk of harm for others. Freedom of speech is not: you can say whatever you want and no one is allowed to get offended or call you out for being a jackass.
the other day my mom and i went into seattle and we had lunch in a cafe downtown that was basically the essence of all things hipster and my mom really liked it so now she thinks she’s a hipster
spicegirlsofficial: what if we are just fruit snacks
poke-problems: this girl posted a picture of herself in an oshawott, tepig and snivy shirt on fb. she has never mentioned liking pokemon before, so being the meanie i am, i asked “what pokemon are those? :]” and she was like “IDK lol i just felt like embracing my nerdie side(:”
I realized when I tumbl I have this huge smirk plastered on my face which is probably why the other library patrons have all chosen computers NOT next to me.
bromancer: do you ever just die and then resurrect yourself as satan
I started reading Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki...
You should too, if only for the chapter devoted to whale penis and an ear model’s ears.
snoipahkat: SMELL THIS BUTT, YOU WILL LOVE IT ON YOUR NOSTRILS